Downtime
by Lehorin
Summary: How the lab-rats play when the cat is away.
1. Unconventional Weaponry

Music in the labs was always an issue. The lab-rat's tastes ran widely, from Greg's death metal to Bobby's passion for jazz and blues. Then there was the problem of volume; if the music was judged by consensus as "good" then the music was no doubt too quiet to be heard. And, of course, Greg's music - hated by just about everyone - was played deafeningly, which led to the Great Lab War of '02. There were many casualties amongst the Marilyn Manson CD's.

Eventually a truce was reached and a peace agreement signed (at threat-of-no-coffee-point in Greg's case). Each technician would bring in one CD a week and they would play one a day all week. The volume level was based on how much noise Archie could put up with in his lab before it started to interfere with his concentration and instruments.

It had been three months since that fateful day (night?) when Black Flag and Blue Hawaiian were held hostage in the ballistics lab, and so far there had only been one complaint about _the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins_, which had been on Archie's contribution one night ("But it's Spock! Singing!") Then one night, a night that will go down in infamy, came a dreadful incident and ever afterwards there was a new clause in the treaty.

It was Ronnie's music night and he had bought in one of his Rat Pack collection. Currently he was taking part in an impromptu meeting of technicians and CSI's as they exchanged test results and theories.

Warrick watched with growing dismay as an argument broke out over Bobby's use of an analogy, which, apparently, was not appropriate in these circumstances because it was night-time. "As honest as the day is long" can only be used during the daytime. Who knew? Warrick had worked hard on being _cool_ and as such couldn't afford to do something as un-cool as fleeing from these crazy, crazy people. Cool people didn't flee, they... sauntered. Yeah.

Suddenly the music changed to Frank Sinatra's "Fly me to the moon."  
"Oh man! I love this song!" Ronnie exclaimed and began Dad Dancing. You know what I'm talking about. The most potent weapon against children everywhere, Dad Dancing has the amazing ability to be absolutely mortifying whilst leaving the Dancer unaware that he is humiliating himself. It is instantly and utterly embarrassing to all who should behold it.

Archie squeaked and covered his eyes, but the others could not help but watch as the QD technician shook his thang in a most unwise manner. Jacqui found her voice at last, although faintly.  
"I think we're going to have to modify the peace treaty."  
"Yeah," Bobby concurred, "Under no circumstances are parties allowed to dance to the music played."

This pronouncement was met with agreement from all, except for Ronnie - who had changed from Saturday Night Fever to the Funky Chicken - and Warrick, who wasn't fleeing the scene, he _wasn't_. He was... sauntering away. At speed.

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Disclaimer: All characters and settings within belong to **Alliance Atlantis, CBS, and Anthony Zuicker, **and I am only playing in their sandbox. The Rat Pack and all their material belong to their respective estates.


	2. Monopoly

**Monopoly**

_In an abandoned office there is a box on top of a dusty filing cabinet. Inside the box is a piece of paper, a treaty if you will. The original text has been annotated many times by many different people but it is still legible. Here I shall transcribe this awesome work which has kept the sanity of many people who, if deprived of entertainment (and caffeine) are very dangerous to the world._

**I, the great Jacqui Franco, hereby proclaim the rules of the lab tech monopoly board game. Specially tailored to our particular talents and tastes this game is one of a kind.**** But there will have to be rules put into place after the last two attempts.**

**The board will be kept in Ronnie's lab. This way no-one will spill coffee or chemicals on it. **_**Or urine samples. I don't know who did that but I have a suspect. DH**_

**David Philips is the banker. He is the ONLY ONE who I can trust not to steal the money and/or run tests on it. Or use the AV lab to print off more, Archie Johnson I am looking at you, no not even if you promise to share your ill-gotten gains.**

**If someone owes someone money both parties need to sign a waver so that there is no stealing. Please keep an account of all your transactions so there are no more arguments. **

**If you need to take a loan from the bank talk to Super Dave. **_**Not during an autopsy, please! Doc Robbins still looks at me funny from the time when Bobby did that. DP **__Plus, we don't want dead people on the money. AJ_

**I am the boot. No arguments**

A token in the shape of the Starship Enterprise lands on a square marked Trace.

"Dammit!" Archie swore. "Now I owe Bobby more money! When's Super Dave getting back? I'm gonna need another loan."

"Murder in a sewage plant. He'll be back in about half an hour" smirked Hodges from the other side of the table.

"You might want to let him have a shower before you do speak to him though," said Jacqui, leaning across to pick up the dice. She rolled a seven and landed on a chance square. Picking up the card she groaned as she read aloud. "You lost a dead body. Go straight to Ecklie's office. Do not pass the break room. Do not collect Greg's Blue Hawaiian. Dammit!"

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ETA: Disclaimer: All characters and settings within belong to **Alliance Atlantis, CBS, and Anthony Zuicker, **and I am only playing in their sandbox.


End file.
